As a person fresh in USA, remember the first time you had to go to Subwayand order the sandwich. The time when you came to know that sandwiches come in forms which are different than two breads on top of each other with omellete in between them. The number of excruciating choices that you had in front of you and the turmoil of communicating those choices to the sandwich maker on other side in your very desi accent. I am talking about the phase in your american life when we still couldn't figure out the difference between 't' and 'd'. If you still haven't been, its "teehhhh" and "deeeee". It has worked for me so far. My full name used to be "Anand Srivasdava" before I learned this nuance. This point is important because if you don't pay attention, tomato is heard as "domado" and lettuce becomes leddus or laytoos when it should be lechusss. Sure way to get stuck at the first step of your veggie selection. For sometime, I didn't try lettuce or any other phonetically controversial items. Kyu-Kyu-mmm-ber comes to mind. It used to be coocoo-m-ber for me. (By the way, if kheera is cucumber then what is the english of kakkdee. Anyone?)
Any ways, as you all know, this arduous charade of getting your sub starts from selection of kind of bread and ends with the question "any drinks or chips" to which the most standard desi reply is "can I have a glass for water please?". By the time its over, a sense of achievement dawns especially if you didn't have to repeat your choices and you didn't confuse alipino's with pickles and olives. One of my friends had found the easiest way out. Everything. He used to say "everything" and smile at me. The stud types smile which said "Easy does it". But I begged to differ with him. Subway is the gateway to the american food world. The "cornerstone" of american lunch. (ref: pulp fiction ). Its the school-yard where you learn to exercise your freedom and choices on the kind of food that you want to consume. Choosing the phonetically least troublesome option is like giving up on the sea of "gourmet" choices that americanfood industry provides. If you want to enjoy the God forsaken american food, you have to learn the ropes. I know there will be times when you will say "northwest" when you meant "southwest". But you are not being fair to the money you are spending if "sour-creame" is your choice everytime you are given a choice between "sour-creame" and "Guacamole". Seriously, english is a funny language. And subway experience teaches you a lot about the need to practice the age old axiom "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". After all, satisfaction of hunger is the most primal of needs.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
christmas of 2006
It’s NOT the Kill; it’s the Thrill of the Chase. And what a thrill we had in that momentous four days, Christmas of 2006. Night outs became a norm, sleeping was a sin, gambling and trying to get lucky with girls on the streets of Vegas became regular chores and poker was our religion for those three nights. If there was nothing to do, then we drove around like zombies. Even the bedouins of Sahara would have been overwhelmed by our vagabond attitude. Amlan (the Pimp), Anas (the Nice Guy, surprisingly), Suhodh (the Daddy) and me. We made an awesome foursome. While three of us incessantly talked and reminisced the good ole days of college and indulged in every whim we could possibly think, the Daddy used his ass to do all the talking, farting his way to glory, soiling every nook and corner of that Pontiac we rented.
Salt Lake City (SLC). That’s where we were supposed to spend this long weekend, supposedly skiing and relaxing in some idyllic surroundings, kind of a retreat from the “grueling” ( read boring) year that was 2006. A reunion of sort for Anas, Amlan and me, all from the Great IIT Kharagpur 2002 batch. The batch of Lallu-Patel fiasco, the batch with most election-time violence, the batch which threw shoes at random girls, the batch which made sure there was no more soap box in hostels, the batch which played hide and seek and that quintessial 29 in the main library as a part of community service punishment that was bestowed on us. With NO due respect to all past and future batches since 2002, The Best Damn Batch at KGP, the batch which Rocked.
Yes, Salt Lake City. I guess Amlan is doing something called PhD there, didn’t seem like it though. All the time, either he was driving us around or was found scratching his balls. If he was not doing either of these things, the former which we appreciated, the later we didn’t care about, he was involved in some random act of debauchery and lechery. This dude is God when it comes to hooking up. What a turn-around I have seen in him. A hardcore Baapee, who now knows French, and uses it with utmost panache, on the streets of Vegas, to get hugs and kisses from big breasted hot white damsels, what else you would call that guy? And think of it, he wrote JEE in Bengali!!!!
From Columbus, Ohio to SLC, Utah. Took me sixteen hours to reach. And no, I was not driving. Because of heavy snow, Denver airport was closed. All over the country, the flights were delayed ad-infinitum. I was stuck in Chicago for more than twelve hours. The lobbies were jam packed. Did all kind things to kill time. At one time, one member of opposite sex came over and complemented me on the book that I was reading ( Age of Reason, I guess) and like a true KGP “frust despo” junta, I saw this an opportunity to have sex and made some initial maneuvers but my advances were nipped right in the bud. Shouldn’t have tried actually, not when someone complements on a book like “Age of Reason”. Other than this, most of the other stuff that happened is not worth the mention, except probably the “State of Art” restroom which did almost everything except you know what, that voluntary pushhhh that has to come from you. I don’t want to gross everyone about it so let’s forget it for now.
... to be continued ... ( when Amlan got drunk and decided to gamble ... "hit me, hit me" episode with black jack game, and "Andy, you do the talking, you are better in negotiating ..." and much more ...)
Salt Lake City (SLC). That’s where we were supposed to spend this long weekend, supposedly skiing and relaxing in some idyllic surroundings, kind of a retreat from the “grueling” ( read boring) year that was 2006. A reunion of sort for Anas, Amlan and me, all from the Great IIT Kharagpur 2002 batch. The batch of Lallu-Patel fiasco, the batch with most election-time violence, the batch which threw shoes at random girls, the batch which made sure there was no more soap box in hostels, the batch which played hide and seek and that quintessial 29 in the main library as a part of community service punishment that was bestowed on us. With NO due respect to all past and future batches since 2002, The Best Damn Batch at KGP, the batch which Rocked.
Yes, Salt Lake City. I guess Amlan is doing something called PhD there, didn’t seem like it though. All the time, either he was driving us around or was found scratching his balls. If he was not doing either of these things, the former which we appreciated, the later we didn’t care about, he was involved in some random act of debauchery and lechery. This dude is God when it comes to hooking up. What a turn-around I have seen in him. A hardcore Baapee, who now knows French, and uses it with utmost panache, on the streets of Vegas, to get hugs and kisses from big breasted hot white damsels, what else you would call that guy? And think of it, he wrote JEE in Bengali!!!!
From Columbus, Ohio to SLC, Utah. Took me sixteen hours to reach. And no, I was not driving. Because of heavy snow, Denver airport was closed. All over the country, the flights were delayed ad-infinitum. I was stuck in Chicago for more than twelve hours. The lobbies were jam packed. Did all kind things to kill time. At one time, one member of opposite sex came over and complemented me on the book that I was reading ( Age of Reason, I guess) and like a true KGP “frust despo” junta, I saw this an opportunity to have sex and made some initial maneuvers but my advances were nipped right in the bud. Shouldn’t have tried actually, not when someone complements on a book like “Age of Reason”. Other than this, most of the other stuff that happened is not worth the mention, except probably the “State of Art” restroom which did almost everything except you know what, that voluntary pushhhh that has to come from you. I don’t want to gross everyone about it so let’s forget it for now.
... to be continued ... ( when Amlan got drunk and decided to gamble ... "hit me, hit me" episode with black jack game, and "Andy, you do the talking, you are better in negotiating ..." and much more ...)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
if you are considering academia after graduate studies ...
Note: This article was written by me for Indian Student Association (ISA) newsletter after interviewing a few distinguished professors ( of Indian origin) at The Ohio State University. It was a great personal experience talking with these old men. The article follows.
Looking at them, it’s hard to believe that once upon a time they were young students and apprentices, experiencing the same joys, excitements, pangs, aspirations and fears that all of us are going through right now. I had the privilege of interviewing a few of them and the experience has been nothing less than inspiring and surreal. These professors of Indian origin at The Ohio State University are beacon of knowledge and innovation and the truest ambassadors of the great cradle of knowledge that ever was, the ancient India.
They all come from diverse backgrounds, excelling in different areas, following different paths to success. But one common thread binds them all and that is the passion that they carry with them which is so conspicuous that sometimes it can be overwhelming. Nothing was laid out to them on a golden platter. All of them have made their mark with sheer hard work and faith in themselves. In the words of Prof Chandan Sen, Professor & Deputy Director at Departments of Surgery and Molecular and Cellular Biochemistry, “Any immigrant will have additional challenges but we have to learn to punctuate limitations with opportunities. Success is all about passion and research should not be done for a living.” Talking to them makes you realize the beauty of the “purpose driven life” and the bliss which comes from being an instrument of change in the life of students and society.
And it came as a pleasant surprise to learn that actually all of them just love to work with students and like the freshness and vivacity that new students bring. They were all very profuse in their welcome message to the new students and felt that OSU has one of the most comprehensive programs in the whole world. Due to its huge size, the diversity in terms of opportunities is phenomenal which should be made best use for all rounded development. According to Prof Somnath Ghosh, professor at Mechanical Engineering and Material Science and Engineering, “Graduate Students don’t understand that they are a vehicle of research in the US. They should be proud to be part of the continuous metamorphosis that they are bringing in through their research….”
While following their passion for research and innovations, the respect and goodwill that these professors have generated for the Indian community in the US is immeasurable and often goes unnoticed. And from the assessment of their work it is quite evident that they are indeed the agents of change, the prime movers in the society. Prof. D K. Panda, at the department of Computer Science and Engineering, lead the Network-Based Computing Research Group. The MVAPICH software developed by his group is powering several supercomputers around the world and is being used by more than 535 organizations world-wide in 35 countries to extract the potential of networking technologies for designing high-end computing systems and servers. Going against the conventional wisdom, Prof Somnath Ghosh, an International leader the field of multiple-scale computational modeling has developed the Voronoi Cell Finite Element Method (VCFEM) which now has a worldwide following. Prof Prabir Dutta is the chair of the chemistry department and is internationally renowned for his research in high temperature sensors, artificial photosynthesis and toxicity of nanoparticles. The impact of his research transcends from automotive exhausts and power plants to medicine and safety. Prof Sudhir Sastry, at the Department of Food and Agriculture, works in the novel methods of sterilization using the influence of electric field in biological substances. Periannan Kuppusamy, professor of internal medicine, who directs one of the biggest research groups at OSU, deals with detection and imaging of free radicals which has high impact in the design of anti-cancer/pro-cardiac drugs. His research shows promise in treating ovarian cancer through improved chemotherapy techniques. Dr Chandan Sen, a truly cosmopolitan researcher, who has worked in virtually every part of the world, is an authority in the area of Regenerative Medicine and at an early age of 40, serves in several leadership positions at OSU and is at the leading edge of research in physiology.
While tracking down their life, the most notable aspect that emerged was the diverse ways in which their career took shape. Firstly, not all of them knew that they would be in academia. Prof Dutta and Prof Cheena Srinivasan, chairman of the Mechanical Engineering Department, worked at Exxon and Shell respectively for around half a decade before deciding to join academia. In the words of Prof Srinivasan, he “missed being in an environment where incessant learning is involved and which is replete with freshness and hope”. Prof Sen and Prof Ghosh always wanted to be in such an environment and chose to be academicians from the word go. Prof Sastry, who is a professor in Agriculture department, has a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. No one can deny this when he says that “In contemporary research, boundaries are artificial, basic principals remain universal”. All this should be enough to convince us that there are no concrete rules to success and it’s a matter of following your heart to the hilt.
Besides education and research, some of these educators have also taken up leadership positions in other walks of life. Prof Dutta leads the state wise effort, (REEL), Research Experience to Enhance Learning with a $3.3 million grant from NSF trying to change 1st and 2nd yrs UG course. Prof Srinivasan, led an effort with help of other colleagues and alumni to raise more than $20million for the newly constructed Scott laboratory. In his words, “we find ourselves in a very unique position to participate in the changes that are taking place and we should make the best out of it”.
From research and education to holding leadership positions and serving on editorial and other boards and committees takes a toll on the personal and social life these professors. But the interesting part is that no one is complaining, which perhaps is the reason for their success. They are happy and as someone aptly said, “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.”
Looking at them, it’s hard to believe that once upon a time they were young students and apprentices, experiencing the same joys, excitements, pangs, aspirations and fears that all of us are going through right now. I had the privilege of interviewing a few of them and the experience has been nothing less than inspiring and surreal. These professors of Indian origin at The Ohio State University are beacon of knowledge and innovation and the truest ambassadors of the great cradle of knowledge that ever was, the ancient India.
They all come from diverse backgrounds, excelling in different areas, following different paths to success. But one common thread binds them all and that is the passion that they carry with them which is so conspicuous that sometimes it can be overwhelming. Nothing was laid out to them on a golden platter. All of them have made their mark with sheer hard work and faith in themselves. In the words of Prof Chandan Sen, Professor & Deputy Director at Departments of Surgery and Molecular and Cellular Biochemistry, “Any immigrant will have additional challenges but we have to learn to punctuate limitations with opportunities. Success is all about passion and research should not be done for a living.” Talking to them makes you realize the beauty of the “purpose driven life” and the bliss which comes from being an instrument of change in the life of students and society.
And it came as a pleasant surprise to learn that actually all of them just love to work with students and like the freshness and vivacity that new students bring. They were all very profuse in their welcome message to the new students and felt that OSU has one of the most comprehensive programs in the whole world. Due to its huge size, the diversity in terms of opportunities is phenomenal which should be made best use for all rounded development. According to Prof Somnath Ghosh, professor at Mechanical Engineering and Material Science and Engineering, “Graduate Students don’t understand that they are a vehicle of research in the US. They should be proud to be part of the continuous metamorphosis that they are bringing in through their research….”
While following their passion for research and innovations, the respect and goodwill that these professors have generated for the Indian community in the US is immeasurable and often goes unnoticed. And from the assessment of their work it is quite evident that they are indeed the agents of change, the prime movers in the society. Prof. D K. Panda, at the department of Computer Science and Engineering, lead the Network-Based Computing Research Group. The MVAPICH software developed by his group is powering several supercomputers around the world and is being used by more than 535 organizations world-wide in 35 countries to extract the potential of networking technologies for designing high-end computing systems and servers. Going against the conventional wisdom, Prof Somnath Ghosh, an International leader the field of multiple-scale computational modeling has developed the Voronoi Cell Finite Element Method (VCFEM) which now has a worldwide following. Prof Prabir Dutta is the chair of the chemistry department and is internationally renowned for his research in high temperature sensors, artificial photosynthesis and toxicity of nanoparticles. The impact of his research transcends from automotive exhausts and power plants to medicine and safety. Prof Sudhir Sastry, at the Department of Food and Agriculture, works in the novel methods of sterilization using the influence of electric field in biological substances. Periannan Kuppusamy, professor of internal medicine, who directs one of the biggest research groups at OSU, deals with detection and imaging of free radicals which has high impact in the design of anti-cancer/pro-cardiac drugs. His research shows promise in treating ovarian cancer through improved chemotherapy techniques. Dr Chandan Sen, a truly cosmopolitan researcher, who has worked in virtually every part of the world, is an authority in the area of Regenerative Medicine and at an early age of 40, serves in several leadership positions at OSU and is at the leading edge of research in physiology.
While tracking down their life, the most notable aspect that emerged was the diverse ways in which their career took shape. Firstly, not all of them knew that they would be in academia. Prof Dutta and Prof Cheena Srinivasan, chairman of the Mechanical Engineering Department, worked at Exxon and Shell respectively for around half a decade before deciding to join academia. In the words of Prof Srinivasan, he “missed being in an environment where incessant learning is involved and which is replete with freshness and hope”. Prof Sen and Prof Ghosh always wanted to be in such an environment and chose to be academicians from the word go. Prof Sastry, who is a professor in Agriculture department, has a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. No one can deny this when he says that “In contemporary research, boundaries are artificial, basic principals remain universal”. All this should be enough to convince us that there are no concrete rules to success and it’s a matter of following your heart to the hilt.
Besides education and research, some of these educators have also taken up leadership positions in other walks of life. Prof Dutta leads the state wise effort, (REEL), Research Experience to Enhance Learning with a $3.3 million grant from NSF trying to change 1st and 2nd yrs UG course. Prof Srinivasan, led an effort with help of other colleagues and alumni to raise more than $20million for the newly constructed Scott laboratory. In his words, “we find ourselves in a very unique position to participate in the changes that are taking place and we should make the best out of it”.
From research and education to holding leadership positions and serving on editorial and other boards and committees takes a toll on the personal and social life these professors. But the interesting part is that no one is complaining, which perhaps is the reason for their success. They are happy and as someone aptly said, “Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.”
of men and bedbugs
Remember that scene in the movie Starship Troopers when Rico and Carmen are dissecting a giant bug and the biology teacher tells them to take bugs-study seriously because bugs have millions of years of evolution behind them and are much superior species than what we make of them, probabaly smarter than us. Take it from me. She was right. No, I am not kidding. These tiny creepy ultra resilient sons of guns are the hardiest creatures I have met in ages and they just refuse to go. Like a bad dream, they resurface out of the blue once every few weeks. An outstanding testimony to their survival instincts.
The question that comes to mind is why these bugs won't leave us alone. Of all the fine healthy species on this earth, why they have chosen to predate us or rather sneak up to us and suck the life blood out of us. There are millions of species, wild and not so wild, all living in perfect harmony. Why can't they co-exist without giving us those rashes, those raised bumps on our skin, those irritating itchiness and sleepless nights. Why they can't leave us human alone. Has it ever occurred to you, especially in a half asleep irritable state in the middle of the night, that it may a deliberate act of defiance? It a taunt, an attempt to impose their superior survival genes on us, a rude reminder of our vunrebaility and their aspirations
to rule our life. After all, has it not been conjectured by some leading scientists that in the wake of a nuclear war, the bugs, led by cockroaches, would be the fittest species on earth. You don't need a lesson in Darwinian theory to guess which species will rule the earth next. Its the freaking bugs. Lets kill them before its too late.
That's what I have done this weekend. Disrupt, dismantle and destroy them from my apartment. Laundry, vacuum, boric acid spray, sterilize every nook and corner and purge my environment of these God damned filthy creatures. Hopefully I won't see them in near future. Who knows?
The question that comes to mind is why these bugs won't leave us alone. Of all the fine healthy species on this earth, why they have chosen to predate us or rather sneak up to us and suck the life blood out of us. There are millions of species, wild and not so wild, all living in perfect harmony. Why can't they co-exist without giving us those rashes, those raised bumps on our skin, those irritating itchiness and sleepless nights. Why they can't leave us human alone. Has it ever occurred to you, especially in a half asleep irritable state in the middle of the night, that it may a deliberate act of defiance? It a taunt, an attempt to impose their superior survival genes on us, a rude reminder of our vunrebaility and their aspirations
to rule our life. After all, has it not been conjectured by some leading scientists that in the wake of a nuclear war, the bugs, led by cockroaches, would be the fittest species on earth. You don't need a lesson in Darwinian theory to guess which species will rule the earth next. Its the freaking bugs. Lets kill them before its too late.
That's what I have done this weekend. Disrupt, dismantle and destroy them from my apartment. Laundry, vacuum, boric acid spray, sterilize every nook and corner and purge my environment of these God damned filthy creatures. Hopefully I won't see them in near future. Who knows?
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
when you hit the thirties ...
When you start getting those sweet pains in your joints long after the workout is over, when a little out of routine food causes acidity, constipation or bloating, when one night-out party creates a week long sleep backlog, when you start waking up with a strange back pain, when you start wondering when you will have enough money in your bank account and when every single girl starts looking marriageable (if you have still not given up), know that you have hit the thirties. Welcome to the crossroad of life. It takes a man to enter 30 and smile about it.
Its a funny place to be at. A classic test of how you see life, half empty or half full. Truly, nowhere else in your life this "half-half" outlook is more relevant. Most of us don't mull over it for long and probably should not. Life goes on but I think it's a good time to take a close hard look at, even for a few fleeting seconds, how our last 30 years have been and how we would like to see ourselves in the next 30 years. I just crossed 30 and I am not sure how others have taken this but I can say for myself that its different. 30th birthday does put things in perspective and begs you to use tangible yardsticks to define yourself as an individual. In a way, abstract measurements like love, energy, youth, freedom and friendship take a whole new meaning. They are not everything anymore. There's more. Career, bank balance, salary raise, cars, house(s), family (wife, kids and parents). Dreams and aspirations of the twenties demand a re-look.
Lucky ones amongst us will still keep following our own dreams besides raising a family we love. But, some of us will have to make adjustments or even compromises with our original dreams. Take up jobs for paycheck sake. Thirty is the time to ask yourselves these hard questions. How much of your original dream stays in the new scheme of things? Have you spent the youthful twenties wisely to earn a larger share or do you see yourself as a late bloomer and willing to grind it out some more or are you ready to make the peace? Bravo to those who are still living their dreams after 30. To those who had to take a more common road, I hope and I wish that they have lots of love in their life. Nothing can beat it.
If I was cooler than what what I am, I would have probably taken a completely different approach - "Chill dude, didn't you know that 30's was the new 20's". I would have loved to think that talking about seriousness of turning 30 is ridiculous, it was like making a mountain out of a molehill. But then I would not be who I am. I guess, all we 30 somethings can still take solace in the oft repeated axiom "Life begins at 40". Must be some truth in it. Billions have gone there before us. And I wonder how we will feel when we turn 60 ... Boy O Boy, that would be something ...
So long,
Anand Srivastava
Tues. 3rd Nov, 09
Its a funny place to be at. A classic test of how you see life, half empty or half full. Truly, nowhere else in your life this "half-half" outlook is more relevant. Most of us don't mull over it for long and probably should not. Life goes on but I think it's a good time to take a close hard look at, even for a few fleeting seconds, how our last 30 years have been and how we would like to see ourselves in the next 30 years. I just crossed 30 and I am not sure how others have taken this but I can say for myself that its different. 30th birthday does put things in perspective and begs you to use tangible yardsticks to define yourself as an individual. In a way, abstract measurements like love, energy, youth, freedom and friendship take a whole new meaning. They are not everything anymore. There's more. Career, bank balance, salary raise, cars, house(s), family (wife, kids and parents). Dreams and aspirations of the twenties demand a re-look.
Lucky ones amongst us will still keep following our own dreams besides raising a family we love. But, some of us will have to make adjustments or even compromises with our original dreams. Take up jobs for paycheck sake. Thirty is the time to ask yourselves these hard questions. How much of your original dream stays in the new scheme of things? Have you spent the youthful twenties wisely to earn a larger share or do you see yourself as a late bloomer and willing to grind it out some more or are you ready to make the peace? Bravo to those who are still living their dreams after 30. To those who had to take a more common road, I hope and I wish that they have lots of love in their life. Nothing can beat it.
If I was cooler than what what I am, I would have probably taken a completely different approach - "Chill dude, didn't you know that 30's was the new 20's". I would have loved to think that talking about seriousness of turning 30 is ridiculous, it was like making a mountain out of a molehill. But then I would not be who I am. I guess, all we 30 somethings can still take solace in the oft repeated axiom "Life begins at 40". Must be some truth in it. Billions have gone there before us. And I wonder how we will feel when we turn 60 ... Boy O Boy, that would be something ...
So long,
Anand Srivastava
Tues. 3rd Nov, 09
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